As the inventor of Earglasses® Sound Magnifiers, a few years ago I was gratified to read a message posted by a fan of my humble device, a man apparently named Roy Clark. His comment appeared on the amazon.com page that sells our product. It was posted as a reply to a snarky comment posted by a third party regarding a previously posted favorable review of the product. The snarker, a “MacBobT,” commented that our fan, the reviewer, was “…Not an Amazon Verified Purchaser!”
Here’s how our fan’s response to BobMacT‘s snark went:
“Thank you, Oh Guardian of Amazon Purchase Verification. The inventor of these Earglasses sells them through Amazon, has for years. How is verification logged in? Is there a link to see a list of accredited purchasers? If so, believe you me. my name’s proudly on the list.
“My liking Earglasses isn’t cronyism or nepotism nor capital gain, just that I bought my set at Amazon and think Amazonians deserve to know Earglasses simply work so well, providing an effective and versatile alternative to ear horns (clumsy), hands cupped behind ears (dangerous when driving or distracting when making a move on a potential romantic target), hearing aids’ power surges, electrical hearing amplification units (hair raising) which also cost many $$$’s more.
“And they radiate heaven know what. (Have you read of the Russian experiment with cell phones? Two cell phones with a plate between them on which sat a pair of raw eggs. All it took was just 19 hours of the phones being on before the eggs were fried) Look it up! It’s true. For electronic hearing devices too; why do so many octogenarians lose their hair? Obvious connection, scary scientific proof!
“My hearing problem’s slight, but my 13-year-younger wife’s hearing is fading (rock n’ roll, rap, surround sound, loud people, advertising). Curled cozily enjoying “Breaking Bad” with me, it’s nice she can hear without being plugged into a distracting electronic gizmo which would’ve cost me a bundle. Sans wires or strap-ons thanks to Earglasses!
“I call them ‘my EG’s’. Sounds cool, huh? H’mmm, sounds like ‘ergonomics’; after all, they obviously are ergonomic. Hope Earglasses management hear that. Maybe I should copyright the name?
“I bought this new version of Earglasses for about ten bucks over a year ago. At Amazon, of course. I price check everything. The wife and I trade off my Earglasses; I can use my prior set, the still-fine original Earglasses. No fixing or fussing, the new model’s sound sounds even better, sharpest from where you point your head. Background noise diminishes. The new Earglasses are a fine furthering of hearing comfort, stability. They work even better than my original set, which still works fine (still uses as a spare). I keep them handy for traveling in our SUV. I pick ’em up and take them to sporting, musical events, rallies, riots; crowd chatter fades just enough and the initial, natural sound comes cleaner.
“Oh, and Earglasses are waterproof too. Walk in the rain wearing EG’s, you’ll hear the pitter-patter splatter better. They’re even zany conversation starters at ball games, bars, wrestling matches, bingo games and on and on. They’re even much better than big ears. They keep your ears dry too.
“The new Earglasses design looks better, works better. I carefully tested, compared before and after versions. Checked them on me in a mirror, cool. Okay, somewhat odd, but soon you’ll become accustomed to their complementing your head. I even tried different sound levels, hard/soft surface sound reflections and high/low frequencies from my stereo system – the new version is audibly, noticeably, blessedly better.
“Okay, okay… I’m a Virgo, somewhat compulsive; I bet the Earglasses genius creator is like that too, desperately seeking simple sonic perfection. Heaven help me, I can’t stop myself vis-a-vis detail digging and alliterating.
“So, where could you used to find Earglasses on The Mighty Amazon? This was the link that would let you go have a look (I doubt that even the Wayback Machine can show you a copy today): http://www.amazon.com/Earglasses%C2%AE-Sound-Magnifiers-adult-sized-lenses/dp/B00B3LRKVM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360260626&sr=8-1&keywords=earglasses
“To be fair, Amazon has a category called “Personal Sound Amplifiers.” Check those products; compare and consider versus Earglasses, particularly their durability/style/savings/uniqueness/convenience/cost/use ease/lower prices/fidget-less-ness/economy and a real senior concern nowadays, maintenance costs.
“Earglasses have more reasons to buy: Put Earglasses on backwards to better hear what’s being said behind your back. Or turn your head left, right, up, down, to target specific amplification directional sensitivity/as ear ‘shells’ are made of hard yet very workable plastic, you can etch any designs or slogans over your ears without interfering with sound catching characteristics. Think translucent tattoos, gang or club mottoes, open or closed attitudes to attract or ward off desired or grisly types, action…
“Do you jog? Put an LED light inside each Earglasses shell, to glow through a translucent or transparent shell surface. Maybe aroma pods inside to attract new friends of chase flies away? Ultimately, Earglasses can have mini phone elements call or be called from around the world. Mini radar antenna. Someday a miniature laser device can immolate threatening perverts; maybe voice or muscle-flinch/twitch/blink activated; maybe a mini radar module to detect sudden movement behind or above you. Or a smoke/noxious gas detector, emergency help summoner. Or… well, possibilities are legion.
“Back to your immediate buying decision; Earglasses are just platforms for exciting, extraordinary additions in so many dimensions, attributes, operations. So go see Earglasses’ competition at Amazon. Earglasses are just starting; those others have nowhere to go. They’re done inventing, even improving and expanding their capabilities. Check out the competition, back there in the dust of the 20th Century: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hearing+aids&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Ahearing+aids
“Okay, MacBobT: I’d be glad to hear any comments on my comments re your comments. I’ll hear them clearly because I’ll wear my Earglasses; eventually there’ll be telephoto video augmentation for visual (broad spectrum, infrared, units for audio and video transcription. Think micro transistorized Robot Cop enhancement; I see cyborgs just around the corner!.. Manbots!
“(But first, Bob… Verify you’re not some shill for a Hearing-Aid Association. Or the infamous PLBMM – the Pricy Lithium Battery Marketeering Mafia). As Christmas 2014 is almost here, put some Earglasses on your shopping list for grampy, grammy or your favorite, Uncle Ernie.”
Wow. All I can say is “thanks, Roy Clark, whoever you are.”
The Zalo PC
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